Dear Journal,
I missed Ahmong so much last night. I miss the old him. The one I can lean on and talk to. The one I can depend on to. I know I am week in some ways. I just need someone to lean on. In times like this I usually cry silently till I go to sleep.
I woke up this morning at the alarm of my phone. But ended up shutting it off then got back to where my sleep has left me. I woke up by the sound of my “ Growing old with you tune” by Paulo Santos. This is the ring tone of my phone. I hurriedly answered it for I know who was in the other line. It was Ahmong.
I was dying to hear his voice. But I guess he wasn’t. He was mad when I answered the phone. It was like a dagger was forced into my heart. It was my fault why he was mad. I didn’t send him the email he waited for so long about the balance of his account, the number of his aunt, and his phone load. My knees went week or shall I say numbed.
It’s my fault. But I could never handle how it is to see him so mad. Tears couldn’t help but fall. It’s my fault too I know. I borrowed some money from his account during the times when I needed it and when my brother was with me.
I promise to give it back. But it’s just not possible this soon.
I don’t blame him for being mad at me. I just loved him so much. But it scares me to marry him. I just want someone to lean on. That’s all.
They say I’m fragile. I used to deny that before. But I know what they mean now. I don’t fall in love easily. Scared to fall then get hurt… and It’s hurting now.
How can loving and hurting be felt at the same time?
-Camery-
Monday, October 27, 2008
October 18, 2008 HNU Puerto Gallera Getaway.
October 18, 2008 HNU Puerto Gallera Getaway.
By: Camery
This is one of the days I would never forget since I dreamed of this even before it occurred. Let me tell you about that later.
It started as a great day. I did my chores the night before so I could wake up early not bothering my chores. I woke up 5:00 am to make it on time to LRT Taft for the assembly area. I saw lots of batchmates way back in college. While waiting for the others we were busy talking on news about everyone.
We took a van. I was seated at the back part of the vehicle. As we were approaching the pier area of Batangas, I noticed that this occurred to me before. Then I remembered of being here. My previous dream was months ago that I’d be going to a pier in Batangas and then it shifted to an apartment style building with lots of white sands.
The ride to Puerto Gallera from Batangas pier is about one hour on a ferryboat. We took some pictures along the way of the sceneries that we pass. Then we arrived at the island to the place where we were staying. Exactly the same as my dream an apartment type building with a rooftop. As I remembered this I just smiled. I know something good is going to happen every time my dream comes true. There was something to expect.
We took some rest then stroll the white shores playing the sand with our feet. As usual pictures will never be gone. That’s what Filipinos love despite extreme sorrow. We just love pictures and capturing unforgettable moments in our own little ways.
Sunset was almost setting and I was glad my batchmate brought his camera phone with him. I borrowed it for a while and was just in time to take the last peep of the shy sun. Wow… marvelous shot I had. We had banana boat ride but unfortunately Shobie lost her other pair of havianas slippers, which cost her Php 800.00. I tried to cheer her up saying don’t throw the other one. Your destiny guy might pick up the other lost pair. That gave her a smile.
After the banana boat we had night swimming. I stayed afloat the waters staring at little diamonds in front of me. I just love stargazing. There were more stars to see that night in Puerto Gallera. This must be because this place is not polluted and there was no smog to cover the wondrous beauty of the night sky. I saw one shooting star and wished on it. I stayed afloat still and feel the air through my face. I found peace at that place. It was simply beautiful. They say it wasn’t that nice in the summer because the place is crowded. But this slack season it was simply the best sunset I ever seen.
Then it was around 8 or 9 pm when they started to get the drinks out with the pulutan chichirya. Then kwentuhan time came. One has to narrate what happened to him or her after graduation (four years ago). It’s my first time to drink tequila. But I tried a few shots to see the capability of my stomach and my senses if they will still be there despite the liquor. I regretted drinking. I didn’t got drunk that night. I was totally in my senses. But allergies came out the next day and the hang over. The headache when I reached home.
When it was my friend Mae Jane’s turn to speak, the air changed. I could feel my heart pounding. One of those unexplained things that I experience way back. Then I know she was the reason why I had that dream and that there is something I need to say to her. My vision got back to daddy’s death. She was unable to recover from his father’s death. It was same way as I had a hard time recovering from daddy’s death. He wasn’t actually my real father. It’s another story to tell…
Then I just told her that when daddy died because of rectal cancer I saw the peaceful smile in his face. Instead of sorrow I felt curiosity, happiness, and jealousy at the same time. I was curious of what or who could he have seen in the other side why his face was so peaceful. I told her that and she thanked me after crying. This was the purpose I was here.
Then one of our friends shouted and pointed at the sky saying, “Hey, look! Theres a shooting star”. It was magical. The star was so near and everyone ended up closing his or her eyes wishing. We slept at around 4 am. I set my alarm at 5 am so I would be able to catch the sunrise. Too bad I was so tired to wake up. I woke up at around 6 am where the sun is high already.
There will be a next time, I said to myself encouragingly. We had breakfast then we went snorkeling. It was amazing how the fishes could eat so near you. They are such tame creatures. The corals however aren’t that healthy. But I hope they are doing ways to improve the place.
We really had a great time. I hope this isn’t the last.
By: Camery
This is one of the days I would never forget since I dreamed of this even before it occurred. Let me tell you about that later.
It started as a great day. I did my chores the night before so I could wake up early not bothering my chores. I woke up 5:00 am to make it on time to LRT Taft for the assembly area. I saw lots of batchmates way back in college. While waiting for the others we were busy talking on news about everyone.
We took a van. I was seated at the back part of the vehicle. As we were approaching the pier area of Batangas, I noticed that this occurred to me before. Then I remembered of being here. My previous dream was months ago that I’d be going to a pier in Batangas and then it shifted to an apartment style building with lots of white sands.
The ride to Puerto Gallera from Batangas pier is about one hour on a ferryboat. We took some pictures along the way of the sceneries that we pass. Then we arrived at the island to the place where we were staying. Exactly the same as my dream an apartment type building with a rooftop. As I remembered this I just smiled. I know something good is going to happen every time my dream comes true. There was something to expect.
We took some rest then stroll the white shores playing the sand with our feet. As usual pictures will never be gone. That’s what Filipinos love despite extreme sorrow. We just love pictures and capturing unforgettable moments in our own little ways.
Sunset was almost setting and I was glad my batchmate brought his camera phone with him. I borrowed it for a while and was just in time to take the last peep of the shy sun. Wow… marvelous shot I had. We had banana boat ride but unfortunately Shobie lost her other pair of havianas slippers, which cost her Php 800.00. I tried to cheer her up saying don’t throw the other one. Your destiny guy might pick up the other lost pair. That gave her a smile.
After the banana boat we had night swimming. I stayed afloat the waters staring at little diamonds in front of me. I just love stargazing. There were more stars to see that night in Puerto Gallera. This must be because this place is not polluted and there was no smog to cover the wondrous beauty of the night sky. I saw one shooting star and wished on it. I stayed afloat still and feel the air through my face. I found peace at that place. It was simply beautiful. They say it wasn’t that nice in the summer because the place is crowded. But this slack season it was simply the best sunset I ever seen.
Then it was around 8 or 9 pm when they started to get the drinks out with the pulutan chichirya. Then kwentuhan time came. One has to narrate what happened to him or her after graduation (four years ago). It’s my first time to drink tequila. But I tried a few shots to see the capability of my stomach and my senses if they will still be there despite the liquor. I regretted drinking. I didn’t got drunk that night. I was totally in my senses. But allergies came out the next day and the hang over. The headache when I reached home.
When it was my friend Mae Jane’s turn to speak, the air changed. I could feel my heart pounding. One of those unexplained things that I experience way back. Then I know she was the reason why I had that dream and that there is something I need to say to her. My vision got back to daddy’s death. She was unable to recover from his father’s death. It was same way as I had a hard time recovering from daddy’s death. He wasn’t actually my real father. It’s another story to tell…
Then I just told her that when daddy died because of rectal cancer I saw the peaceful smile in his face. Instead of sorrow I felt curiosity, happiness, and jealousy at the same time. I was curious of what or who could he have seen in the other side why his face was so peaceful. I told her that and she thanked me after crying. This was the purpose I was here.
Then one of our friends shouted and pointed at the sky saying, “Hey, look! Theres a shooting star”. It was magical. The star was so near and everyone ended up closing his or her eyes wishing. We slept at around 4 am. I set my alarm at 5 am so I would be able to catch the sunrise. Too bad I was so tired to wake up. I woke up at around 6 am where the sun is high already.
There will be a next time, I said to myself encouragingly. We had breakfast then we went snorkeling. It was amazing how the fishes could eat so near you. They are such tame creatures. The corals however aren’t that healthy. But I hope they are doing ways to improve the place.
We really had a great time. I hope this isn’t the last.
-Camery-
Sunday, October 26, 2008
October 11, 2008- FUN? …This is how we DO it!
By Camery
Sorry for the late blog.
Fun is helping others. Sieptaculars started the day with a good cause for Gawad Kalinga “Martsa ng mga Bayani”, at Fort Bonifacio. This year’s theme is Walang Iwanan: Ano Taya Mo? A lot of supporters for Gawad Kalinga with other shell employees were celebrating this event. The event was followed by lots of different band showcase.When their mission in The Fort was done, they went to Dampa , Macapagal to gather forces with the other Sieptaculars. This is where the real party began. Once in a while even super humans need some time to unwind and relax. Have sometime to just smile and laugh, sing and dance, and forget what the real worlds pressure is. As the famous saying goes even lovers need some rest. (Laughing out loud) where did that come from? Ok now, back to where I stopped.This gathering of the super humans, the Sieptaculars, has been a long plan. At last the event has come to pass in Dampa, Macapagal on October 11, 2008 at exactly around 6:30 pm. This is one of the favorite places where people love to dine because of the fresh seafood and delicious cooking recipes that they offer. Nahh, don’t let me describe it to you in details. I know you’ve been there too… They choose a very nice restro with a band playing good music.They had a good time in this place. Picture takings, joking around, laughing, and singing were the highlights of Dampa. Just see the pictures for yourself. Camery and one colleague who had the heart for singing joined and jammed with the Six balls, the band playing at Dampa, Macapagal that evening. It was fun. Camery suddenly realized how she missed singing so much. It makes her heart leap with joy and colors came back to her life. She sang Torn by Natalie Imbruglia. Her fave during her high school years. She sang her heart out and one of the audience moved forward to wipe her sweat in the forehead. She had fun though she forgot some of the lyrics. When they were about to leave the place, she encountered an old man along the way commenting on her that she has a nice voice.After the last song, they decided to go somewhere else where FUN can be more defined to another level.They went to a karaoke bar where the singing, laughing, joking around, and dancing continued with foods and drinks served of course. The air was filled with joyous laughter. The new members of this team had their talents discovered as well. Some are good in singing; some are good in dancing, and some never run out of humorous jokes to say. Each of the Sieptaculars is unique in every way and talented as super humans. Their uniqueness disappears when it comes to the team. Setting aside each ones agendas just for the team goals to be achieved.But tonight… It was really fun… We can’t wait till the next time.
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